Objecting to Marriages, Watching Strangers' Luggage, Asking for More Chairs, and More

Nick: Hey, everybody. It's Nick Leighton.

Leah: And it's Leah Bonnema.

Nick: And we had so many great questions from you all in the wilderness ...

Leah: [howls]

Nick: ... that we have a bonus episode. So here we go. Our first question is quote, "My sister-in-law came over for dinner at our house and when we were not long married, proceeded to tell us while sitting at our dinner table that my husband should not have married me because he should have remained married to his previous wife and, you know, spend the rest of his life being unhappy. So I was a bit gobsmacked by this and didn't know what to say, and I have to deal with this woman on an ongoing basis. What should I say or how should I treat her?"

Leah: Woof!

Nick: Yeah. [laughs]

Leah: Also, this was a voicemail.

Nick: This was a voicemail, yes.

Leah: We got the feeling behind it.

Nick: We did get the nuance, yes.

Leah: You know I always say, "What's the spouse who's related to this person?"

Nick: Yeah.

Leah: I'm willing to let that go for this one.

Nick: Oh, is this an exception to that rule?

Leah: [laughs] I feel like you come to my house, you sit at my table, you say in front of my face that we shouldn't be married, I feel like I can now skip that rule. Also, it's not a mom, it's not a dad, it's a sibling.

Nick: Yeah. I mean, my first question was like, what happened to the "forever hold your peace" part at our wedding? You know, that part when you are actually invited to say something if you have any objections, I mean, you passed up your opportunity. And so in exchange, you have to forever hold your peace. I believe we are not holding our peace currently.

Leah: Well, maybe our letter-writer should bring that up. "Well, you can't say anything because now you're in the 'holding your peace' stage. I would like to know what the husband said. I'm sure everybody just sat there in stone silence as one would.

Nick: Yeah. I mean, this is shocking. So I mean, the first feeling here is just like, "Oh, did I hear what I thought I heard?"

Leah: I think we decide: shall we rise above and take the high road, or is this worth being petty about? And I don't mean petty, I just mean when you have the opportunity to sort of stick the knife in, stick the knife in.

Nick: Yeah. I mean, I think you have to decide, like, do I want to engage or not engage? I guess that's really the first question here.

Leah: And if this is a person that you have to deal with on an ongoing basis, I feel like if they're like, "Hey, can you help me with this thing?" You could say, "Hey, remember when you were sitting at my table and said to my face that you think my husband shouldn't be married to me? I kind of don't want to." And that way you're not being petty. You're being very direct about it, but you're saying, "Hey, why don't you go ask the first wife?"

Nick: I'm sorry, I thought I was taping with Leah Bonnema today. Who are you?

Leah: I've really just gone on. The past couple weeks have been ...

Nick: Would you actually—that feels so unlikely coming out of you.

Leah: I think you'd be shocked by some of the things I've done.

Nick: [laughs] But actually, I would not be shocked.

Leah: When I feel pushed to my limit.

Nick: Fair enough. Yeah. I mean, yeah, would you want this to be very clear? Like, "Oh, we're not friends." I mean, that's basically what that approach would be, which is like, "Oh, I see what our relationship is. We're not gonna be friends. We'll be cordial and distant. And that's what that is." I guess that's one path. Sure.

Leah: I mean, you know how you always say, "Who am I today?"

Nick: Yeah. And you are me. [laughs]

Leah: I'm you too. Well, I've had—I mean, I think you know personally what I've been dealing with in my life the past couple of weeks.

Nick: Sure.

Leah: And I've ended up saying a few things to people, and I feel very freed by it. So I feel like what I want to say to this woman is, "Oh well, if you don't want to be polite to me, then I'm not gonna give you the benefits of being a sister-in-law."

Nick: Yeah. I mean, I think that is definitely fair. I mean, that's totally fair. I was thinking of a couple different approaches. One would just be to say, like, "Oh, this sounds like a conversation between you two—" meaning sister and brother. "I'll excuse myself so you can continue this conversation." Because I actually don't think this has anything to do with you. This has to do with something about this first marriage and whoever that person was and, like, the decision to marry you, the brother was part of that decision too. Like, this is not on your shoulders exclusively. So it feels like, oh, maybe this is a sibling conversation in which I will leave it to the siblings.

Leah: Yeah, but the conversation has already happened. And so it's how is she dealing with it moving forward?

Nick: Right.

Leah: Also, obviously this has nothing to do with our letter-writer. This has to do with the person whose mouth it came out of.

Nick: The other thing I was thinking, which is something you could say, which would be almost like, "Oh, I'm sorry you feel this way, but I appreciate that you feel so comfortable expressing those sorts of feelings directly to me, and I hope in time I can change your mind."

Leah: Who are you today?

Nick: I am Leah Bonnema. [laughs]

Leah: I feel like what we could say—because this is very direct and it's just saying how we ...

Nick: Did we just Freaky Friday this.

Leah: We are Freaky Friday-ing. I really feel like you could say to this person—and this is, I think, the middle ground. "Hey, you hurt my feelings."

Nick: Yes. Yes. "Hearing that really hurts my feelings. And I'm sorry you feel that way."

Leah: I don't think you need the second part. I'm sorry you're in my—how about "Hearing this hurts my feelings. And I'm sorry you're in my house." How about that part?

Nick: Wow!

Leah: Whoo!

Nick: [laughs] I have never seen you this aggressive.

Leah: [laughs] I don't know. I don't know what's happened to me.

Nick: I mean, I love it, I love—I love Leah Bonnema 2.0. It's wonderful.

Leah: [laughs] It's just all of a sudden a whole new show where you're trying to calm me down and telling me to be nicer.

Nick: "Oh, let's give everybody the benefit of the doubt, guys."

Leah: It's just mean, you come over to my house and you insult me to my face about my marriage?

Nick: Well, at the end of the day, this woman is a social arsonist. That's who this is. And this is a type of person. We all know these types of people that are just social arsonists. They just enjoy burning up the fabric of society. That's just something they enjoy as sport. And this is not the first time this person has done something like this. Definitely not gonna be the last. This is not the only relationship she probably does this in. Like, this is a—this is part of her deal. So that's comforting on some level because then we know we don't have to take it personally. But she is a social arsonist.

Leah: I agree.

Nick: Yeah.

Leah: And I think that we could still say, "Hey, that hurts my feelings," because I think social arsonists don't really have anywhere to go with that. You're not giving them any drama.

Nick: Definitely we don't want to feed the beast. Yeah. I mean, what they're looking for is drama here, for sure. Because, like, why would you say this? It's like, "Oh, thank you for bringing this to my attention. We're gonna get a divorce now."

Leah: "Oh, yeah. Now that you brought it up, let's—we're gonna divorce and he's gonna go back and marry that other person."

Nick: "You know what? Thank you. We had not thought of that, but that is a great idea and that's what we're gonna do."

Leah: There's a thing you could do. I did it this weekend as a joke, but you can do it for real, and maybe we could all just start working it into conversations when somebody says something wild that you don't want to respond to because you don't want to feed the beast, but also you want to point out, like, not appropriate is that you sort of slide off whatever you're sitting on onto the ground and dramatically lay there.

Nick: [laughs] Okay, that's Leah Bonnema I'm looking for.

Leah: [laughs]

Nick: The person who just slides onto the floor. Yep.

Leah: I did it this weekend with friends for fun, and I was like, "I might take this on the road. This is a good time."

Nick: Yeah, this is a technique we can use. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I guess, you know, I'm sorry that this happened. I guess we just want to, yeah, defuse it in the moment, not feed the drama beast. And then yeah, I think we would actually want to take cues from your husband, which is like. "Oh, that was an interesting conversation with your sister. How do you feel about it? Do we need to have this woman in our home again?" And so I guess that's really the conversation next.

Leah: I have another idea.

Nick: Mm-hmm?

Leah: If we're in a situation that happens like this again, we pick up a phone or we fake pick up a phone—you could just pick up a fork and pretend it's a phone.

Nick: Uh-huh.

Leah: I pick up all things and put it to my ear and go, "You can hear the ocean." It doesn't matter what I'm picking up. You just mime it.

Nick: [laughs] Okay.

Leah: It's a good time. And then you pretend that you're calling the etiquette police—us.

Nick: Oh!

Leah: And you report the crime in front of this person.

Nick: Sure. Okay.

Leah: How fun is that?

Nick: Oh, yeah. You'd be like, "Oh, excuse me one moment." Boop boop boop boop boop boop boop. "Oh hello, Nick and Leah. I have an etiquette crime in progress."

Leah: [laughs] Yes! Yes! Yes!

Nick: Yeah, I mean, that—how wonderful! Well, I'll take that phone call. Absolutely.

Leah: If you actually have the phone with you, you can then hand the phone to the person and say, "Did you want to say something for your side of it? Oh, no? Okay, I'll explain it."

Nick: [laughs] Okay. Yeah, I mean, I think at the end of the day, sometimes things are just so rude there—there is nothing to do. There is no response. There's just what do you do with this? Nothing.

Leah: You could just work the stare back in. I think they're just saying I have to be around this person all the time.

Nick: Yeah. And I think it's just like, well, you know how they feel. And so we want to be cordial and polite, but we don't really have to go out of our way to, like, be best friends now.

Leah: Or we can just have fun with it and start every time they say something rude call it in.

Nick: Your misery is our content. [laughs]

Leah: It's also—but it's also I think it lightens it for you. This is the world I want to live in, because so many people are just really going off the rails lately that I just think I want to lighten it by being like, "I'm reporting you, or I'm gonna fall off the chair and pretend that I'm laying on the ground." You know what I mean? Let's lighten this. I don't—because I don't want to carry your bad behavior in my head all the time. It's making me crazy.

Nick: Yeah. No, this is true. Yeah, we don't want to carry it around. Yeah. All right, so add a little whimsy.

Leah: [laughs]

Nick: So our next question is quote, "Today, I was sitting outside at my college campus working on my laptop when I was approached by an older gentleman. He had a black suitcase, and kindly asked me if I could watch his bag while he made a quick run to Starbucks for a coffee. I explained that I would only be there for 10 more minutes before I had to head to class. He said it was no big deal and he was on his way. Ten minutes later, he still wasn't back, so I asked someone else sitting nearby if she could watch his belongings. How should we respond to strangers when they ask us to watch their belongings, especially when we know we will be leaving soon? I know there's many opinions on this, especially at airports, where watching others' luggage can even be considered dangerous. But how should we approach this situation in various locations? A Starbucks run at my school could easily take a half an hour."

Leah: I just wrote "No."

Nick: [laughs] Yeah. I mean, we could just say "I can't. Unfortunately, I can't. So sorry."

Leah: There's a situation where say you're sitting at a cafe, and there's a person at a table next to you, and they've also been there a long time. And that person looks at you and says, "I just have to run to the washroom real quick. Do you mind watching my computer?" Even that makes me extremely uncomfortable, but I've at least been sitting next to this person with their computer and I know the situation.

Nick: Right.

Leah: So I even think in that situation you could be like, "Hey, that kind of makes me uncomfortable." You could say that. You could just—but this is a man who's just walked up to you with a bag and is leaving his bag?

Nick: And it's a bag we cannot bring into Starbucks with us.

Leah: Why can't we carry a bag? Why can't you carry the bag? No, you can't leave a bag with me.

Nick: Like, how big is this bag? How small is this Starbucks?

Leah: What's going on?

Nick: Yeah, I mean, what a nightmare to be, like, responsible for this stranger's stuff, and now I have to leave, and it's sort of like, what do I do with this? It's like a hot potato.

Leah: It's like seven panic attacks. This is the kind of thing that is a—that's why I just—I feel like an honest, open, "Hey, I'm sorry. I can't. It makes me uncomfortable." What are they gonna say? "Don't be uncomfortable?"

Nick: [laughs] Right. Yeah. No, it's very—I mean, it's so awkward. So awkward. And especially since it's like it feels like it doesn't have to happen. Like, I just don't understand the true need here. Like, why can't we bring it into the Starbucks? Also, let's just use the apps, people. Just order online, mobile order, and then you get a little alert when it's ready and then you could run in. That I would be better with. Like, "Oh, I'll use the app. And then would you watch my bag? My coffee's ready. I'm gonna run in and grab it." I would feel much better about that versus, like, oh, "I'm gonna, like, go through the whole ordering process."

Leah: Really? You would feel fine about a stranger you've never seen walking up to you with a bag and saying, "Can you watch this bag that's probably not see through while I run inside and pick up my already-ordered coffee?" I would be like, "No."

Nick: No. I mean, my strategy is I don't look approachable or friendly in public.

Leah: So if everybody wants to work that in ...

Nick: I use the New York City approach where people don't come up to me asking me for stuff because I don't look nice on the street. And that serves me very well. So I never run into this situation because it's like, "Oh, I don't—I don't think we want to ask that guy."

Leah: So if you want to work on looking unapproachable, I worked on that on the subway because I struggled so much after moving from ...

Nick: It's the only way you can survive in New York City.

Leah: So one of the things I do is I become a character, and one of the first things I did was I watched people who looked unapproachable, especially women, and I noticed that a lot of women were chewing gum who looked unapproachable because they were just sort of like, "I don't care." That was the vibe they were giving out, like they were loose cannons. And I actively worked gum into my subway character. Of course, then I couldn't get it out, and now I chew gum everywhere. But I think you just become this character.

Nick: Oh, it was method. You couldn't just pretend to chew gum.

Leah: No, I had to—I went in. I became a gum chew—I became an active gum chewer.

Nick: Wow. That's dedication to your craft!

Leah: It's a dedication. And because you—it's that look where you have to be like, "I'm not the person you want to leave stuff with."

Nick: Yeah, you definitely want to look like you're on the verge of yelling or crying.

Leah: [laughs]

Nick: That's how you do it in New York City. You just want to be on the knife's edge of one of those emotions.

Leah: [laughs] You want people to see you and think "unstable," and then just move to the next person.

Nick: "Oh, you with clipboard raising money for charity? You really want to stop me on the street right now? Yeah? That—you really want to get engaged in conversation with this and what's going on? I don't think so." [laughs] I've never been hit up for money. It works. Yeah. So yeah, I don't know what we do with this other than, like, "I'm so sorry, I can't."

Leah: I also think, like, people who just walk up to you and ask you to do things that are inappropriate, like, it's inappropriate to ask a stranger to hold something that—we somehow feel the need to explain things to them like, "Oh, I'm just—I'm about to leave," and then they're gonna come up with reasons why it doesn't matter. That's why we don't explain. We just say—unless we're like, "Hey, it makes me uncomfortable," but we're not like, "I'm only here for five minutes" or "I don't like bags" or whatever it is. You would just say, "No, you're making me uncomfortable."

Nick: Yes. Flip side, I mean, I do see a world in which, like, small town, not really worried about this guy's luggage and, like, I'm gonna be on this bench for another four hours. Like, sure, leave it. Like, if that didn't make you feel uncomfortable, like, sure, you could—you can agree to do it. Like, it doesn't have to be a hard no, but ...

Leah: I disagree with this 100 percent.

Nick: Oh, it's a hard no, no matter what?

Leah: It's a hard no.

Nick: Any strange man with luggage.

Leah: Yes. It's unsafe. I don't like it.

Nick: Yes. If it feels—if it feels—if anything about it feels unsafe, then okay, fine.

Leah: I mean, you have a world in which maybe you actually trust people more than I do, but I think, no.

Nick: Wow, am I you? Have we really switched? Now I'm the trusting one. What is happening, Leah? Wow. I see the good in people. Oh, I don't like this feeling.

Leah: [laughs]

Nick: [laughs] How's it going for you over there?

Leah: Oh, I feel—I feel set free.

Nick: [laughs] All right. Well then our next question is quote, "How do you send invitations or thank-you notes when you don't know the recipient's address? What's the best way to acquire this information? Because handwritten cards are the best."

Leah: Sometimes I think that Nick sent in a question.

Nick: Well, sometimes there are questions that seem more for me than for you, yes. But now that you're me, what would we do here?

Leah: Well, what I would do is I would just message them and say, "Hey, may I have your mailing address? I have something I want to send you."

Nick: That is exactly what you should do. Yes. That's it. That's the whole thing. Yes. Yeah, just ask. "Hey, I want to mail you something. What's your address?"

Leah: "I'm gonna mail you a bag that I'm gonna ask you to sit with while I just go do something for a long period of time."

Nick: "Actually, I'm gonna mail you a bag, and I'm gonna ask you to not open it. And then in two months, I'm gonna come and pick it up. But just hang on to it for just two months. Cool."

Leah: And if anybody asks if you have it, say no.

Nick: [laughs] But for this handwritten card, yeah, just ask. And I think the question is coming from a place of we often feel like we want thank-you notes to be a surprise to the recipient. Like, oh, it doesn't count if they're expecting it or if they know it's coming or, like, no, it's fine. It does not have to be this, like, totally unexpected surprise. It is totally fine to be like, "Hey, I'm gonna mail you something," and they can know what it is. "What's your address?" The surprise is in actually getting it, and then in the nice thing you actually wrote in the card.

Leah: I, Nick Leighton, agree.

Nick: [laughs] Great. Me, Leah Bonnema, agrees with you.

Leah: [laughs]

Nick: So our next question is quote, "My brother and his wife never have enough dining chairs for people that are invited over to eat. They have enough chairs for the two of them and their two children, but not anybody else. There is no effort made on their part to find other chairs for people to sit or anything. It's pretty much a help yourself for the food, you grab a plate that is made available, then serve yourself in the kitchen, then you try and find a place to sit. No one sits down together to eat, it's just eat wherever. It's been like this for a few years now, and it's become awkward for people that come and visit. Our mother is now 79, and would really like to have an actual place to sit. Is there some polite way to suggest to my brother that visitors would really like to have actual chairs at the table to sit at when they eat?"

Leah: I'm afraid to answer this because I mean, I feel really strongly about it. And, you know, am I still you? I don't know.

Nick: Okay. Well, whoever you are, what is your strong feeling?

Leah: I have two strong feelings.

Nick: Okay.

Leah: Simultaneously.

Nick: Just get some chairs? [laughs]

Leah: My first one was I'm gonna show up with a chair. I'm showing up with a chair under my arm. And I'm saying—I'm saying, "Ma's got to sit down."

Nick: Well, it's also like we're not offering our mother any of the existing chairs. Like, there are four chairs in this house. We don't want to give mom any of them?

Leah: Yeah. Why are the two kids sitting down when mom's not sitting down?

Nick: Right. So that's like—oh, that's interesting.

Leah: And then my second thought was—because I'm—I'll show up with a folding chair under my arm. No problem. I got no feelings about that.

Nick: Yeah, this feels pretty casual. Like, I don't think anybody's gonna be like, "Oh, how rude. You brought a folding chair!"

Leah: "Oh how rude ..."

Nick: "To our party."

Leah: " ... your mom needs to sit down."

Nick: [laughs] Right?

Leah: But the other one is I think they could say, "Hey, do you want to come over for this thing?" And then you could say, "Hey, I'd love to come over, but it always feels slightly awkward because we don't have anywhere to sit and eat."

Nick: Well, related to that, where are we eating? Are we just, like, leaning against the mantel? Am I just sitting on the floor?

Leah: I imagine they're eating against the mantel. That's what's happening.

Nick: And, like, there's no couches in this house? There's no other sitting surfaces available. Is there a zafu? I mean, what—what sitting options are there?

Leah: Well, after I Google what that is, I will decide whether or not I think there is one.

Nick: [laughs] That is for your Zen meditation.

Leah: [laughs] Oh!

Nick: That's the cushion you sit on when you're doing your zazen practice.

Leah: Oh!

Nick: Surely you have a zazen practice, Leah.

Leah: Clearly I don't.

Nick: Oh, well no, that's—you're more about walking meditation.

Leah: I am a walking meditation lady.

Nick: That's—that's your—that's your style of Zen. That's fine. That works too.

Leah: Thank you.

Nick: Uh-huh. Although with Zen, all roads lead to the same place, which is no place. There is no road.

Leah: Okay.

Nick: [laughs]

Leah: [laughs]

Nick: Well, maybe this is a Zen household. There are no chairs.

Leah: There are no chairs.

Nick: There are no chairs. We are all chairs. None of us are chairs.

Leah: No ...

Nick: The chair does not exist. But we also don't need the chair. The chair is an illusion.

Leah: But there is a chair. There's four chairs. It's for the brother, his wife and their two kids. So there are chairs, it's just not for their guests. So it's the opposite of Zen.

Nick: Yeah.

Leah: It's mine, mine, mine, mine.

Nick: Yeah. [laughs] Yeah, I feel like the next time we're invited over, I think we would want to be like, "Hey, you don't have chairs in your house, so would it be okay if we brought folding chairs?" Or maybe we just gift them, like, some folding chairs for the next holiday? Birthday? No occasion?

Leah: I don't know if they'd get it. They'd be like, "We don't need chairs. The four of us have chairs."

Nick: But not offering a chair to your 79-year-old mother? That does feel like, come on. Come on.

Leah: Come on!

Nick: You think? Although I think mom in this story could say, like, "Hey, grandchild, may I sit here?" I think she could just boot the kid out of the chair.

Leah: Yeah, I think so too. I also have no problem just showing up—circling back—after we decide we're not saying "circling back," but circling back, I would just walk in there and carry a chair. "Hey, it's for mom." I'm not saying it any—in any kind of weird way. I'm just being, like, "Brought a chair for mom."

Nick: Yeah. Although I would also want to bring a chair for me, and then the other people I'm bringing, Like, we brought a bunch of chairs.

Leah: Brought some chairs.

Nick: Right. I think we just have to bring it to their attention. Like, this is not malicious, it's just they're not being mindful of the chair-to-person ratio here. So I think if you did bring it to their attention, I think that probably just would solve this problem because I think they would then realize, like, "Oh yes, I guess we should have enough chairs for the guests in our home."

Leah: I think so too.

Nick: Yeah.

Leah: Just bring it up.

Nick: Just bring it up.

Leah: Bring the chair.

Nick: Okay. So our next thing is a bonkers.

Leah: [laughs] Sorry. Bonkers! Or should I say bonkity bonkity bonkity bonkity bonkers!

Nick: Oh, that's new. And thematic. And it's quote, "My parents and I flew across the country for my cousin's wedding. My aunt, the mother of the groom, picked us up at the airport and brought us to our hotel a couple hours before the rehearsal dinner. My mother and I both showed her our dresses for the rehearsal dinner, and asked her if they were appropriate for the event, which she had planned. She said they were great. Two hours later, when we arrived at the dinner, we were shocked to find out that the event was a hoedown theme, and everyone was wearing cowboy boots, hats and overalls. We were totally overdressed. When we asked others, they said they'd been informed about the theme weeks ago. My aunt just shrugged and refused to explain."

Leah: I wrote down, "Where are the pictures?" [laughs]

Nick: [laughs] Yeah. I mean, once again, Fancy Ranch gets you every time.

Leah: I just imagine our letter-writer walking in in, like, these—these dress-like gowns, and then everybody's just sort of like two-stepping around them in ...

Nick: Yeah, everybody has straw in their mouths and yeah.

Leah: Like, what?

Nick: What's happening? Yes. I mean, this is a nightmare. It's a nightmare to just, like, not be dressed for the event—whatever that means. I mean, and there was so much opportunity for it to not be this way.

Leah: There's months of opportunity. I also loved how the aunt just shrugged and refused to explain. That reminds me of the people who are like, "Hey, we're leaving you at our house to go have drinks with these other people." And you're like ...

Nick: Right.

Leah: And then they say, "It can't be helped." You're like ...

Nick: Yes, it was unavoidable.

Leah: What's going on?

Nick: This hoedown theme was unavoidable.

Leah: [laughs] Yes. What's happening with these answers? What's going on with these answers?

Nick: "I'm afraid it was impossible to tell you about this theme in advance."

Leah: [laughs]

Nick: Yeah. I mean, the best—the best explanation is that the aunt forgot to tell you or you missed that, and then when you showed the dresses because it was too late to make those dresses into a hoedown theme, the aunt was like, "Those are great." Because, like, oh, it's too late for you to, like, do something with this. I guess that's the best explanation. Like, she didn't want to make you feel bad that you were not in theme, although you're gonna figure it out real fast.

Leah: You are gonna figure it out.

Nick: And this theme is very specific.

Leah: It's specific.

Nick: It's not like, oh, this was black tie and you arrived in, like, business casual, which is like, okay. I mean, these are relatively, you know, close-ish. But fancy ranch to, like, just normal wedding rehearsal dinner, cocktail dress? Like, that's a very different thing.

Leah: Also, I would be so upset that I missed a chance to wear overalls.

Nick: I was thinking that, too. I was like, "Oh, I would have had much more fun had I known about this theme and could have gone all out. I mean, I love a good plaid."

Leah: I love overalls. And you rock plaid!

Nick: I mean, I wear nothing else.

Leah: He's actually literally wearing it right now.

Nick: I am actually wearing plaid right now. Yes, yes. And not to prove a point, but just because I do.

Leah: I have this super cute denim overall dress that I've been wanting to get out.

Nick: Tomorrow is the day. Tomorrow you're just gonna wear an overall denim dress.

Leah: Tomorrow is the day.

Nick: Yeah. So I'm sorry this happened. That's awkward. I wonder how the wedding went.

Leah: [laughs] And also, I feel like we should have pictures from this event. I wish we could have a collage board of all of the pictures of the bonkers stories.

Nick: Oh yeah, if you ever send us a bonkers story, yeah, give us some photos to go along with it just to paint the scene. Yeah.

Leah: You could just sneak a pic and send it to us.

Nick: But, ugh. Awkward!

Leah: Awkward!

Nick: So awkward.

Leah: I just—it's really these explanations that are really putting them over the top.

Nick: It's never the crime, it's the cover up. Yeah. I mean, really, I mean, if the aunt was like, "Oh my goodness, you didn't get the part where it was a hoedown theme? Oh, I'm so sorry you didn't get that email. I'm so sorry you missed that part of the website. I'm so sorry that that information didn't get to you, but what you're wearing is great. You look great. Oh, I have an extra hat. I'll bring it for you." Like, any of that would have been fine.

Leah: If they explained, "I saw you earlier. I love your dresses. I'd realized at that point that I forgot to tell you, so I just didn't say it because I wanted you to feel good." Then I would have been like, "Oh, all right, whatever." But to be like, "I'm not gonna explain this to you?"

Nick: No, I'm just gonna give you a shrug.

Leah: What?

Nick: [laughs] Unless the aunt thinks that what you were wearing was hoedown themed?

Leah: [laughs] No.

Nick: Is that an explanation? And been like, "Oh, that—that little floral cocktail dress, that's hoedown." Maybe?

Leah: I mean ...

Nick: I don't know. Being very charitable.

Leah: You're really being charitable.

Nick: Par for the course for this episode.

Leah: Honestly, you've just been so charitable today. I'm confused.

Nick: All right, well, we gotta end it then so I can go back to being me. So thank you for sending us this bonkers story.

Leah: Thank you so much!

Nick: And please send us your bonkers stories, your etiquette crime reports, your questions, your vents, your repents, all of it. Send it to us through our website, WereYouRaisedByWolves.com. Or you can leave us voicemail or send us a text message: (267) CALL-RBW. And we'll see you next time.

Leah: Bye!

Nick: Bye!